The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
