No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She even gives head with a lisp.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
