I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
