he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
