we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
