the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When did angry sex become our thing?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
PANTIES FOUND
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