Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
