I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
