i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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