he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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