My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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