found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
