at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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