so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
