I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
