we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
