don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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