Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
