I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
