The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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