Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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