actually, I'm a sock model
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
