I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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