she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up under a house in Key West
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
