i already hear my dad disowning me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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