he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
