like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
