im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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