I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
