I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
