My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
honey bunches of taint.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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