I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
