I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
