question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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