So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize