i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
