the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't think brook has ever known best
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
