is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
