New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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