If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
