i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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