I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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