i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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