she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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