Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
