The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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