dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize