omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
