I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize