Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need a beard to bite.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
