the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
