Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
