Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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