I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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