masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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