Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Drake has all the answers
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
