My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
