The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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