so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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