is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
