Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
