Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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