Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
