There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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